Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

How do you know if your husband loves you truly and deeply?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Is it socially acceptable for individuals to wear clothing typically associated with the opposite gender? What are some reasons for or against this practice?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

Can I see some anal hole?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why is Prince Harry being fired by BetterUp CEO Alexi Robichaux, and what role did Marc Benioff’s decision to pull sponsorship play in this?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What does it mean if you dream your dad died?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why am I not attracted to masculine men? Why do I like more feminine attributes on a man?

I have a reading level above third grade

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Can bosses get fired for being too hard on employees?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I can read

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I haven’t eaten junk food for weeks, I ate dirty all-day yesterday, but I can’t even workout, why am I so tired?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What are your funniest "lost in translation" moments if you grew up speaking more than one language?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Was Daenerys' downfall inevitable after she left Meereen in Game of Thrones?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Is love natural, or is it somehow created?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What are some great short jokes?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What baseball stories from the early days of the sport seem too bizarre to be true?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Is it wise to SECRETLY expose a narcissist by telling others that he/she is a covert narcissist?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Can a twin flame runner be happy in a karmic relationship?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”